Wall Street Mania

Wall Street is a Must watch!

Being one of the best movies of all time, Wall Street gave us an the insight into the mind of Gordon Gekko and the great but yet opportunistic minds of financial world giants.

However in Wall Street; Money Never Sleeps, it showed us the more humane side of Gekko. 

However Gekko will also be Gekko, always having a trick or two up his sleeves.

What i really liked about this movie was how realistic everything was. Down to the very detail of crisis at its peak. Eventhough with the change of names we still know who they are referring to. With a flick of events and motives, Wall Street; Money Never Sleeps is what the world is today.

This movie opened my eyes to the talents of Shia LaBeouf. His portrayal was sheer emotional and award worthy. His expressive eyes showed his determination and dedication to this film. 

Michael Douglas was of course very Gekko. He owned the role. 

As for Carey Mulligan, I've always like this girl. She grows on me as she grows. She is an actress that truly deserves an oscar.

Rate: 4.5/5 Stars.

When the Bull came crashing down

I have been having the best 3 weeks of my life. For once, I loved what I was studying. It wasn't just plain reading and facts crunching. This was actually what I'm really interested in. Having read the book" Too Big Too Fail" just makes everything so intriguing and fascinating. What ever I learnt in lectures helped me further understand what actually went wrong in wall street 08. From lectures to this book, and back from this book to lectures, it fits perfectly like a puzzle. 

If I were not doing this course I might have found this book meticulously dry. But it clearly wasn't.

Too Big Too Fail is a perfect example of a textbook translated into a novel for all ages. Anyone along the streets can pick this book up and be fully owned by it. The Economist had it right; "It is just too good to put down". Andrew Ross Sorkin gives his readers an uncontaminated view of what happened in Wall Street during the faithful year of 2008. No elaborated frills and sugar coating of opinions. Just plain action. He carefully, intricately and systematically laid out the series of events that unfolded before every key players' eyes in the 08 debacle. Sorkin invited his readers into the world of such complicated politics but yet made it so irresistably easy to be absorbed by it. He gave the book its own voice and soul. With so many key characters of such diversity and personality, Sorkin made it effortless. He mindfully opened the secret doors and gave the public access into the backstage of the modern age Great Depression where some of the most powerful and influential men played. Like a classic thriller fictional novel; Too Big Too Fail is filled with anticipation, excitement and drama. 

However the only difference is,

It is not Fiction.

A Change of Courage.

Medics come home tired but satisfied after a long day's work. They love what they are doing and are always eager to learn more than what is required. They yearn to save lives and are always fascinated with every new procedure they get conquer. They can't stop thinking of the day they would graduate and become real doctors.

But i can.

Why must I be denied of the joy and anticipation to start working. Why must I be the one who is deprived of the love and passion in what I'm doing.

Clearly, with feelings like these; I'm just not doing what I like, talk about love. I too want to be excited of entering the working world. I too want that anticipation, enthusiasm and passion for their careers. Hence, I have decided to take fate in my own hands.

I never really wanted this since the beginning. The reason was simply, I couldn't think of anything else to do. Deep down in me, I always knew i preferred arts to science. Science was something I grew up with, something I could do, not something I adored. I was too afraid to launch myself into a career of business or finance. Chemical bondings and life cells were my basics. I had no idea what accounts were besides the bank account I owned. Thus I succumbed to my coward-ness, the opinions and the urges of others. Getting a degree in medicine and becoming a doctor was a safety net. Not forgetting it came with prestige and praises. I allowed the fame hungry, prestige whore get the better of me.

I was always fascinated with the idea of going corporate. When everyone in Med School was thinking of what field of specialization they were interested in; I wanted to do pharmaceutical corporate. Kinda far fetched isn't it?

I wanna speak well, flaunt my confidence in a 3 piece suit and live a life of a high flying "corporate-er".

"Who loves what they are doing?" That is what most people will say.

"Why waste 3 years of your life? All you need is another 2 years and it is done!"

"You can think of other options then"

I say these 3 years have not been a waste. It gave me 3 years of experience that money can't buy. I gained 3 years worth of friends, 3 years worth of knowledge and I know my time is up. What makes anyone so sure by the time I'm out with a medical degree in another 2 years I would start from scratch and launch into something else. What if I'm stuck with doing medicine then?

If I want a change, I'll do it while I still have the courage and love to do so. What if I lose the desire in 5 years and will be stuck doing what I hate doing for the rest of my life? I'll do it now!

The decision is final. I'm withdrawing from Medicine and launching into Accounting and Finance.

Suits

I promised something less depressing and I shall deliver. It is high time I salvage myself and make an escape from that depressing rut. I want to heal! Thus I shall.

Suits. I have been wanting to do a post on this for eons. But my mind has been constantly corrupted with ill feelings and disappointments for the past few months. 

There I was, in my casual and comfy, flight worthy plain tee with a cardigan and jeans, waiting for the Heathrow Inter-terminal Express train, transferring from Terminal 1 to Terminal 4; partially day dreaming and reading my trusty novel. The train to Terminal 4 was in 15 minutes. I withdrew myself from my novel and threw my gaze into space. Travelers on business, leisure walked past me and parents with their children heading for summer holidays trotted by. The train heading for Terminal 3 arrived. Passengers got on and off the platform, and there it caught my attention; most men are in suits.

Dressed in their Armanis, Pradas, Zegnas or Marks and Sparks, they were all suited up. Fine pin stripes to dark single shades. All perfectly matched their crisply clean white dress shirts and immaculately shined leather shoes. Regardless of whatever hairstyle they donned; short and neat, carefully messed hair or perfectly coiffed, they all had one thing in common; they looked exquisite.

What is it that makes a man look so good in suits? There is just something sexy about it. Even 007 got away with a license to kill in them; killing all the ladies. You can appropriately wear it to a business meeting, wedding invitation or funeral procession.  Take the tie off and pair it with a pair of jeans and you are ready for a night out in town. If you feel a lil adventurous and chic, equip yourself with the more casual brother of the suit; the blazer and you are ready for a weekend at the Hamptons or just downtown.

Milo Ventimiglia looking positively charming in this summery beige Armani Collezioni.

Not everyone could pull off a suit. Fashion these days has convinced metrosexual men/ men with taste/ vain men/ men who takes care of their appearances / gay men, that suits should fit you like a glove. Gone are the days where suits make you look like a wannabe quarterback on field with gigantic shoulder paddings. Suits these days are meant to make you look sleek and fresh of the runway.

No one wears them better than the King of suits himself; Tom Ford. Tom Ford is one perfect example of a man  who revolutionized the way men wear suits. He dons a suit everywhere he goes; promotional appearances, interviews, luncheons, parties, even when he is busy directing a movie!

Tom Ford substituting a tie with scarf, toning down the formality.

3 piece suits look amazing these days.

I'm no big fan of Brad Pitt, in fact i hate his infidelities; but i have to admit he looks good in a 3 piece. The guy knows how to dress it up.

Tom Ford's latest collection. Velvet, plaids, wool. All looking fineee.

Josh Duhamel and Shia Le Bouff gracing the premier of Transformers; suited up.

I don't like Double breasted suits, but John Cho rocked this.

One day in the future, I will be that man who is all donned up in that immaculately tailored suit, fitted with a crisply white shirt, paired with my perfectly shined leather shoes, living a life a corporateer.

hmmm...i should start sharing something less depressing..hmmm..

Help

I was told by a good friend of mine; she noticed I've lost confidence in almost everything, especially in self-confidence. To her, this happened after I left the country. Contrary to common beliefs, I have lost my self esteem rather than gaining more after stepping outside the peninsular. Lets just leave it as 2010 has not been particularly kind to me.

I have started my healing process, and to date, I have made progress. I've learnt to accept my fate and move forward. This is easier said than done. I've told myself, I will accept this and work towards getting through this one year, but I have yet to face to music. For the past month or two, following the ugly scenarios unfolded before me, I have hid myself from all public appearances, making only necessary ones and ones that wouldn't bother me. The past few months indeed aided my healing process but it too sheltered me from all i deem "harmful". It has cocooned me in a solitary shell. This solitude has subconsciously pushed me into a deeper level of emptiness and hollowness. It has erased my goals, blurred my vision and vanished my hopes. Like a black hole, sucking the light out of that glimmer of hope,  a harbinger of catastrophe. Suddenly now, I have to break open my shell and return to face reality; with no goals, no vision..no hope.

On the outside, it is all gravy and joy. Filled with smiles and sparkles. However it is always short lived. When the sun sets, the moon rises and the light goes out; darkness and depression comes out to play. Only then do i know my reality. My uncertain reality.

I am trying really hard to heal. Only when I'm truly healed can I laugh at my mistakes and failure. But now, I still can't.

Everytime I'm reminded of my failure, my mind sinks into depression, my heart retrieves into that dark, lonely corner where I find solitude. A corner that only brings disaster and destroys hope.

I need help.

Help.

This is me.

7am is approaching and I have yet to get my sleep.

Sleeping these days has been a task. Gone were the days where sleeping was a luxury. It is now nothing but a nightmare.

It is the moments before one falls asleep, the moment where you feel the comfort of your pillow, warmth of your duvet and softness of the bed; that haunts me. These moments send me shrieking for salvation. The pillow becomes a manifestation of confusion, the duvet heats up like a boiler and the soft bed disintegrates and turns dull.

Like a sanctuary of calmness; moments before you fall asleep are suppose to engulf your thoughts, sending your mind into emptiness and lightness. This is the time when your mind anticipates its desired and deserved rest; a time where it thinks of nothing, sending your whole body into a motion of calmness and serenity. Like a cocoon; your body, mind and soul is surrounded with silence and ultimate relaxation.

However this is not my case.

It is the sudden emptiness that bizarrely sends my mind into a field of wild fire. Activating every corner of my brain, drowning me with emotions, memories and hypothetical situations. It swallows my sanity, tatters my serenity, increases its grip on my aching heart and rips my healing scars open.

I want to heal. I want to move on. But the very thought of what the uncertain future beholds frightens me to my very core.

I am a walking billboard of failure and will always be branded as one.

I will recover, but I will never truly heal.

My confidence and emotions will forever be handicapped.

This will not define my existence. But now, at least now;

This is me..