Sheer Randomness

I'm here sitting on bed, nicely nestled between the warmth of my duvet and pillows. But here's the problem; I am absolutely clueless on what i want to write tonight. I have so many thoughts flying left, right and center in my mind. Some of them stacked up to the brim my head; in random order, some just sitting at the corner collecting dust. I'm currently going through, what i feel is a mental breakdown. Nothing is sorted in there, nothing is organized. Everything is troubling me; or rather i find fault in everything. I'm displeased with everything that is happening around me.

For starters, this has not been my best week. I started the week on a wrong footing, missing my bedside teaching because i was down with a combination of general malaise, fever and bloated tummy, and it was down hill all the way from there.

I've lost my gung ho groove of studying. I have been so keen for the past few weeks; reading up on lectures before attending them, making notes and feeling excited for all my bedside teachings and what nots. However this week was just wasted, down the gutter like a bowling ball hitting no pins.
It is friday today, and i felt i have achieved nothing.

1. My portfolio deadline is due next monday and i have not started on it.
2. I have an Occupational Lung Disease lecture tomorrow and i have not read up on it.
3. I was suppose head the library today and study, but left after an hour; making a stupid excuse that my contact lenses were dry (technically they were. i could have taken it out and walked home with blur vision but i insisted on coming home..excuses).
4. I was suppose to impress my registrar during ward rounds but i failed terribly; making a fool outta myself instead.
5. My SSC3 session today was crap.
6. I generally feel i'm fat. I keep telling myself i would hit the gym tomorrow but tomorrow always seem eons away and when it arrives, i would just procrastinate and push the idea of gym-ing aside.
7. I keep checking stupid random sites, my facebook and other accounts for useless purposes;wasting precious time.

...and the list goes on..

what the hell am i doing?what the hell is happening to me?

Random thoughts; i hope i wont get male pattern baldness. My hair is my crowning glory. Well technically, my dad and all my uncles do not suffer from this, maybe for once something good would happen to me. i hope this trait is passed on to me, if not what is there to life?

..melodramatic..